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Enough / October 10, 2015

Tomorrow I’ll release my third book, Enough. This book… It was a journey for me. It was therapy and a labor of love all rolled into one. Enough is a love story on many levels. There’s the traditional love story between a man and a woman and then there’s the love story between a woman and herself. In order to find the love she needs and deserves Everly London must first learn to love herself.

The idea of Enough came to me a long time ago. I think it’s because through the years I’ve told myself “I’m not enough” so many times that it became a normal, unquestionable truth. Somewhere along the line I started to think that being a woman meant being superhuman. Maybe it started when I watched my mom hold down a full-time job, keep our house clean, cook dinner every night, run us all over creation to every after school event and sports activity, listen with an open heart and never seem to be sick or run down. Amazing how the things we believe as children are so shrouded in misconceptions. We see what we want to see.

I think as a kid I got in the habit of putting myself down in order to beat others to the punch. People would usually laugh at my self-deprecating humor. But inside I assumed I was saying what they were already thinking. I judged myself based on how I thought everyone else was doing around me. Don’t we all do that at one time or another?

When I became a mother, in the back of my head was this unrealistic standard that I used to judge myself. I will not yell at my kids. I’ll always make nutritional meals. I’ll keep the house clean and organized. I’ll have a perfect marriage. I’ll stay in shape.

HA!

As time passed those ideas changed to things like, I won’t yell at my kids, today, I’ll make a nutritional meal tomorrow, I’ll clean this weekend…

Day after day I knocked myself down inside. When I’d lose my temper I’d think I was a horrible parent. I’d feel like I was failing my kids, my friends, my family…. They deserved better. I wasn’t good enough.

Why? Why did I feel this way? Why did I look at stories and pictures on Facebook and judge myself by what I thought I saw? Because, it’s easy. Do you know what’s hard? It’s hard to cut myself some slack. It’s hard to not judge myself the way I think others are judging me. It’s hard to love myself when I step on the scale or stare at the woman in the mirror because I’ve trained myself to see the best in others and the worst in me.

I wanted to tell the story of a woman who’d made some mistakes but was doing the best she could every day. A woman who didn’t see her own beauty and allowed others to make her feel inadequate. I wanted to write a journey of self-discovery and healing. Someone who had to be happy with herself before she could find her happily ever after. I wanted to help other people understand that Everly was enough all along. She just had to see it in herself. You are enough. I am enough. We all are enough. And if someone can’t see that in us, then it’s time to say goodbye. When you finally learn to love yourself, you let love in from everywhere. That little thing called the Law of Attraction that says that we attract what we think we deserve (or something like that) is true. It works. I’ve seen it in my own life and in the lives of people I know.

So every day, when you look in the mirror, smile at your reflection. Tell yourself, I Am Enough and believe it. Eventually that person looking back at you will believe it too.

Let’s start believing the good stuff for once. It’s there. We just have to see it.


#IamEnough

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